I keep a small pad of paper with me at all times. I'm constantly scratching notes and writing down funny things that happen, things of interest, and
insane customer comments. Working so long in the industry has no doubt
filled a book or two!
Below is a crazy list of some of the funniest things overheard in a Jewelry Store. Some of these are hilarious conversations, statements, actions and reactions from me, other salespeople and customers... but all are 100% real and never made up. Because these are real life situations it just makes it all the juicer! Jewelry Fans, Jewelry Store Owners, Jewelry Salespeople and just about everyone else should delight in these scraps of fun taken from the life of a Jewelry Salesman! Enjoy the laughter! I sure did!
An old Woman is telling me about her Jewelry. She says to me "My old Ring used to snag real bad.
It gets caught on my dog," She frowns then continues "
and now I have a hairless dog!"
Conversation on the Sales Floor: "
This is a Box Chain!"
Customer: "You're right about that, it's too thin to wear,
it stays in the box!"
Sales Woman approaching customer from behind. "Is there anything we could help you with Ma'am?"
"
Ma'am?" Guy turns around.
"Oh, I'm sorry Sir!"
"What shape is that?" a Man asks leaning over his Wife's shoulder.
"It's a
Trillion!" She says.
"Why do they call it that?" he asks.
She thinks about this for a minute then smiles. "
Because they cost a Trillion Dollars!"
Woman looks up from Diamond Ring "Do you take Trade-Ins on
300 Pound Men?"
Lady rolling her eyes "I have so much Jewelry
I could O.G.!" She smiles "You know...
Over-Gold!"
Confused customer "Isn't it an I1?"
Salesman: "Yes!"
Customer: "
I thought that meant that it had ONE visible Inclusion in it?"
"How much do you charge to put in a
Watch Battery?"
Saleswoman: "$4.50"
Customer replies "And that includes the Battery?"
Customers approach the Jeweler "We want to return this" They set the bag on the counter. The Jeweler peers over the top of his glasses at them "Why?"
"We can't afford it" the guy stammers.
The Jeweler removes his glasses and leans forward "You could afford it a Month ago!"
The guy switches feet and says quietly "
I got fired."
The Jeweler doesn't miss a beat and replied "
You should have tried harder!"
Teenager comes up to the Watch counter "Can you put Batteries in Watches you can't open?"
Couple looking at bracelets for their Daughter.
Woman: "Do you like the Bracelet?"
Man: "It's too big.
She's a tomboy. It'll fall off her wrist. She's got tiny little wrists, that's what I'm trying to tell you!"
Woman: "
Well maybe we should skip the Bracelet and take her to Food Town!"
Salesperson: "What's your Name?"
Customer: "Ho"
Salesperson: "Ho? Oh! What's your last name?"
Customer: "
That Last! Ho!"
Salesperson: "Oh Ho! What's your First?"
Customer: "He"
Salesperson: "
He-Ho?"
Customer: "Uh-Huh!"
Salesperson: "Oh No!"
Guy wandering around store "No I'm just kind of looking. My Wife's in another store and
she's got all the $50's!"
Woman comes in smiling and happy and leaves mad and huffy "I came in here to look at the Ring I want. My Boyfriend should have bought me that Ring. But now I'm mad, because it's not here, and
someone else is wearing it!"
Guy inquires about the price of a ring "
Okay Thanks! I guess I'll just have to get her bullets!"
More insane madness and the best punch line of them all... Read on...
