Continuing with the Funny Things Overheard in a Jewelry Store...
Salesperson: "This Diamond is
SI Clarity!"
Customer: "
What's SI Mean? Slightly-Irregular?"
Guy scratching his head "Could I use these coupons to buy something and
not pay for it?"
Couple looking at a 2.00 Carat Diamond Ring "Oh That's neat! Isn't that neat Honey?" She looks at him.
He shrugs.
She turns back to me and quips "
And Lord knows I've never seen a big one!"
Man says to the Salesperson "Just Surprise her? Hell, I surprise her every morning just by waking up.
I'm not dead yet!"
Lady slams box on counter "I want to return this!"
Irritated Employee "Okay... What..."
Lady: "I found something cheaper!"
Employee: "
Oh! Why didn't you tell me you wanted cheap?"
Customer: "What's the name of that battery?"
Jeweler: "It's a 364!"
Customer: "Is there another name for it?"
Jeweler: "
Yes. SR621SW!"
Customer: "
I better stick with the 364!"
Man walking up to counter "
I want to buy a Ring for my Peter!"
Shocked Salesperson: "Your what?"
Man: "
For my Son, Peter!"
Lady laughing at the Diamond case watching her man run out the door "Look at him go. He's running like a scared chicken. No Boyfriend! No Husband!
No Worry!"
Couple at Earring Case. Wife: "I want one single Earring."
Husband: "
Why? You missing an Ear?"
Wife: "No!
I've got 3 holes! How long you been married to me?"
Man playing with Ring on his finger "It's annoying! It doesn't fit right. It bugs me like something hanging in your nose!"
Customer "What's the Gram Weight of that Chain?"
Salesperson: "3 Grams"
Customer: "
With the Tag or without the Tag?"
Lady looking at Opals "These Opals have
NOT taken their Vitamins!"
Girl at counter "I wanna return this Bracelet because the box looks like a coffin. It turns me off. I don't even want to open it.
It's a coffin!"
Woman removing her ring "Can I get my Ring cleaned? And can you do a really good job?
And can you get the Yellow out of the Diamond?"
Man turns to his Wife who is pondering buying a Diamond Ring. "
This or the Couch?" he says to her. Then he turns to me and says "
And you can't beat what I can do on the Couch!"
Couple walking back into the store after a Ring purchase. "Now that we got the Diamond. We want the
Dime-one!"
Salesperson talking to a couple at the Earring Case "These Diamond Earrings are guaranteed for a lifetime against chipping or breaking"
The Man laughs "
Well I'd hate to see what her head would look like then. You know, for her to crack them while she had them on! But then again, we do ride a Motorcycle and then I wouldn't care!"
Lady looking closely at a Tennis Bracelet "I don't like the look of these Diamonds. They still have some glue on them!"
Salesperson: "
Oh No! That's not glue, that's the Diamonds!"
Man turns to Fiancee at the Diamond Ring Case "Will you be upset if I just get you a
Gift Certificate?"
"These aren't Opals! These are Oh-Pales!"
Man looking at a ring on his Girlfriends hand "Wow," he says "That Ring don't look so bad! Especially next to your
Plastic Eyeball Ring!"
Old Lady getting her Ring cleaned at the
Ultrasonic Jeweler Cleaner. She squints, smiles and says really loudly "
Oh, this is what I need at home... A Vibrator!"
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