{"id":6586,"date":"2017-04-10T07:45:10","date_gmt":"2017-04-10T11:45:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/?p=6586"},"modified":"2017-04-10T16:28:38","modified_gmt":"2017-04-10T20:28:38","slug":"jewelry-store-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/jewelry-store-humor\/","title":{"rendered":"JEWELRY STORE HUMOR"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Jewelry<\/div>\n

I keep a small pad of paper with me at all times.<\/p>\n

\nI’m constantly scratching notes and writing down funny things<\/strong> that happen, things of interest, and insane customer comments.<\/p>\n

\nWorking so long in the industry has no doubt filled a book or two!<\/strong><\/p>\n

You Said What?<\/h2>\n

\nBelow is a crazy list of some of the funniest things overheard in a Jewelry Store<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\nSome of these are hilarious conversations, statements, actions and reactions from me<\/strong>, other salespeople and customers… but all are 100% real<\/strong> and never made up.<\/p>\n

\nBecause these are real life situations it just makes it all the juicer!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nJewelry Fans, Jewelry Store Owners, Jewelry Salespeople and just about everyone else should delight<\/strong> in these scraps of fun taken from the life of a Jewelry Salesman!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Enjoy the Laughter!<\/h2>\n

\nI sure did!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

\nAn old Woman is telling me about her Jewelry. She says to me “My old Ring used to snag real bad. It gets caught on my dog<\/strong>,” She frowns then continues “and now I have a hairless dog!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nConversation on the Sales Floor: “This is a Box Chain!<\/strong>”
\nCustomer: “You’re right about that, it’s too thin to wear, it stays in the box!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nSales Woman approaching customer from behind. “Is there anything we could help you with Ma’am?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\n“Ma’am?<\/strong>” Guy turns around.<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I’m sorry Sir!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\n“What shape is that?<\/strong>” a Man asks leaning over his Wife’s shoulder.<\/p>\n

\n“It’s a Trillion<\/strong>!” She says.<\/p>\n

\n“Why do they call it that?” he asks.<\/p>\n

\nShe thinks about this for a minute then smiles. “Because they cost a Trillion Dollars!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nWoman looks up from Diamond Ring “Do you take Trade-Ins on 300 Pound Men?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nLady rolling her eyes “I have so much Jewelry I could O.G.!<\/strong>” She smiles “You know… Over-Gold!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nConfused customer “Isn’t it an I1?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nSalesman: “Yes!”<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “I thought that meant that it had ONE visible Inclusion<\/strong> in it?”<\/p>\n

\n

\n“How much do you charge to put in a Watch Battery?<\/strong>”
\nSaleswoman: “$4.50<\/strong>”
\nCustomer replies “And that includes the Battery<\/strong>?”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCustomers approach the Jeweler “We want to return this<\/strong>” They set the bag on the counter. <\/p>\n

\nThe Jeweler peers over the top of his glasses at them “Why?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\n“We can’t afford it<\/strong>” the guy stammers.<\/p>\n

\nThe Jeweler removes his glasses and leans forward “You could afford it a Month ago!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nThe guy switches feet and says quietly “I got fired<\/strong>.”<\/p>\n

\nThe Jeweler doesn’t miss a beat and replied “You should have tried harder!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nTeenager comes up to the Watch counter “Can you put Batteries in Watches you can’t open?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCouple looking at bracelets for their Daughter<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\nWoman: “Do you like the Bracelet?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nMan: “It’s too big. She’s not a tomboy<\/strong>. It’ll fall off her wrist. She’s got tiny little wrists, that’s what I’m trying to tell you!”<\/p>\n

\nWoman: “Well maybe we should skip the Bracelet and take her to Food Town!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nSalesperson: “What’s your Name?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “Ho”<\/p>\n

\nSalesperson: “Ho? Oh! What’s your last name?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “That Last! Ho!”<\/p>\n

\nSalesperson: “Oh Ho! What’s your First?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “He”<\/p>\n

\nSalesperson: “He-Ho?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “Uh-Huh!”<\/p>\n

\nSalesperson: “Oh No!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nGuy wandering around store “No I’m just kind of looking. My Wife’s in another store and she’s got all the $50’s!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nWoman comes in smiling and happy and leaves mad and huffy “I came in here to look at the Ring I want. My Boyfriend should have bought me that Ring. But now I’m mad, because it’s not here, and someone else is wearing it!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nGuy inquires about the price of a ring “Okay Thanks! I guess I’ll just have to get her bullets!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nSalesperson: “This Diamond is SI Clarity!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “What’s SI Mean? Slightly-Irregular?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nGuy scratching his head “Could I use these coupons to buy something and not pay for it?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCouple looking at a 2.00 Carat Diamond Ring “Oh That’s neat! Isn’t that neat Honey?<\/strong>” She looks at him.<\/p>\n

\nHe shrugs<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\nShe turns back to me and quips “And Lord knows I’ve never seen a big one!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nMan says to the Salesperson “Just Surprise her?<\/strong> Hell, I surprise her every morning just by waking up. I’m not dead yet!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nLady slams box on counter “I want to return this!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nIrritated Employee “Okay… What…”<\/p>\n

\nLady: “I found something cheaper!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nEmployee: “Oh! Why didn’t you tell me you wanted cheap?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCustomer: “What’s the name of that battery?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nJeweler: “It’s a 364!”<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “Is there another name for it?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nJeweler: “Yes. SR621SW!”<\/p>\n

\nCustomer: “I better stick with the 364!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nMan walking up to counter “I want to buy a Ring for my Peter!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nShocked Salesperson: “Your what?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nMan: “For my Son, Peter!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nLady laughing at the Diamond case watching her man run out the door “Look at him go<\/strong>. He’s running like a scared chicken. No Boyfriend! No Husband! No Worry!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCouple at Earring Case. Wife: “I want one single Earring<\/strong>.”<\/p>\n

\nHusband: “Why? You missing an Ear?<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nWife: “No! I’ve got 3 holes!<\/strong> How long you been married to me?”<\/p>\n

\n

\nMan playing with Ring on his finger “It’s annoying!<\/strong> It doesn’t fit right. It bugs me like something hanging in your nose!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCustomer “What’s the Gram Weight of that Chain?<\/strong>”
\nSalesperson: “3 Grams”
\nCustomer: “With the Tag or without the Tag?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nLady looking at Opals “These Opals have NOT taken their Vitamins!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nGirl at counter “I wanna return this Bracelet because the box looks like a coffin<\/strong>. It turns me off. I don’t even want to open it. It’s a coffin!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nWoman removing her ring “Can I get my Ring cleaned?<\/strong> And can you do a really good job? And can you get the Yellow out of the Diamond?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nMan turns to his Wife who is pondering buying a Diamond Ring. “This or the Couch?<\/strong>” he says to her. Then he turns to me and says “And you can’t beat what I can do on the Couch!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nCouple walking back into the store after a Ring purchase. “Now that we got the Diamond. We want the Dime-one!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nSalesperson talking to a couple at the Earring Case “These Diamond Earrings are Guaranteed for a Lifetime<\/strong> against Chipping or Breaking!”<\/p>\n

\nThe Man laughs “Well I’d hate to see what her head would look like then<\/strong>. You know, for her to crack them while she had them on! But then again, we do ride a Motorcycle and then I wouldn’t care!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nLady looking closely at a Tennis Bracelet “I don’t like the look of these Diamonds. They still have some glue on them!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

\nSalesperson: “Oh No! That’s not glue, that’s the Diamonds!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nMan turns to Fiancee at the Diamond Ring Case “Will you be upset if I just get you a Gift Certificate?<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\n“These aren’t Opals! These are Oh-Pales!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nMan looking at a ring on his Girlfriends hand “Wow,” he says “That Ring don’t look so bad!<\/strong> Especially next to your Plastic Eyeball Ring!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

\nOld Lady getting her Ring cleaned at the Ultrasonic Jeweler Cleaner. <\/p>\n

\nShe squints, smiles and says really really loudly:<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, this is what I need at home… A Vibrator!<\/strong>“<\/p>\n

CHEERS! :)<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I keep a small pad of paper with me at all times. I’m constantly scratching notes and writing down funny things that happen, things of interest, and insane customer comments. Working so long in the [Read More…]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6587,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fun","category-jewelry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6586"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6586"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6586\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}