{"id":6612,"date":"2022-12-01T04:30:45","date_gmt":"2022-12-01T09:30:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/?p=6612"},"modified":"2022-12-01T12:01:46","modified_gmt":"2022-12-01T17:01:46","slug":"stupid-human-web-searches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/stupid-human-web-searches\/","title":{"rendered":"STUPID HUMAN WEB SEARCHES"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Stupid<\/div>\n

This post is crazy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nFor the past few years I’ve been viewing my web stats<\/strong> (geek in me), phrases and keywords (through Google analytics<\/strong>) that allows me to see exactly what people type into Google search<\/strong> that brings them to my jewelry secrets website.<\/p>\n

\nBelow is an insane list<\/strong> of some of the most interesting<\/strong>, crazy, funny<\/strong>, stupid phrases that you’ll ever see. I can’t believe people actually typed these in.<\/p>\n

These are NOT made up.<\/h2>\n

\nThese are taken word for word<\/strong>. <\/p>\n

\nReal people did this… Not me.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n(So I hope they don’t offend anyone.)<\/p>\n

\nI did enjoy commenting back on these<\/strong>… I couldn’t help myself… <\/p>\n

\nSo the actual web searches will be in bold black…<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMy smart ass comment will follow…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Enjoy! :)<\/h2>\n
\n

\nThings to say to your mistress when she is trippin.<\/strong><\/p>\n

“What’s wrong with CZ’s?”<\/p>\n

\n

\n Why are mothers so horrible?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because you haven’t bought her jewelry in years.<\/p>\n

\n

\n Earlobe puss pocket<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe you should have searched images instead?<\/p>\n

\n

\n What does it mean when your finger stinks?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Quit itching things.<\/p>\n

\n

\n Jeweler’s loupe makes eye ache<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n That’s the six beers talking…<\/p>\n

\n

\n What size is her finger?<\/strong><\/p>\n

6. No 5. No wait, 7. Maybe 8?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Your as bent as a…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Banana?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Trying on earrings “gross”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good to see I’m not the only one who thinks this.<\/p>\n

\n

\n Baby toe lies flat and squished<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n As long as you didn’t harm the toe ring.<\/p>\n

\n

\n How to cure ugly hands?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Paper bags?<\/p>\n

\n

\n How many moonstones can you get?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n How many moon trips have you been on?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Why is my earlobe getting fat?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Have you seen the size of your head?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Get a ring size surprise<\/strong><\/p>\n

Surprise! It doesn’t fit.<\/p>\n

\n

\n What’s my birthstones?<\/strong><\/p>\n

How many months were you born in?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Suck my girdle<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don’t even know you…<\/p>\n

\n

\n I like you a lot gifts<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Is this the same as one night stand belly rings?<\/p>\n

\n

\n What do I do with my earlobe that is about to rip?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n Hmm… Chewing gum?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Wedding ring smelly<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n But wedding night fun<\/p>\n

\n

\n Secret of the perfect spit shine<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thick saliva?<\/p>\n

\n

\n I wear a magnetic bracelet during full moons<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wear garlic.<\/p>\n

\n

\n My diamond is crack at the prong<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n My prong is fix at the jeweler<\/p>\n

\n

\n Ring spinning finger balls<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Is this a SNL skit?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Do I look better in yellow gold or white gold?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Yellow gold. Definitely yellow.<\/p>\n

\n

\n When do jewelry stores go on sale?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Right after bankruptcy.<\/p>\n

\n

\n Body aches and pains all over?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n You need a medic, not a jeweler.<\/p>\n

\n

\n Men buying pantyhose<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n As long as you don’t snag them with your pinky ring<\/p>\n

\n

\n Chocolate diamonds are so ugly<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Sticks N stones…<\/p>\n

\n

\n Fun uses for ultrasonic cleaners<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Well, they do vibrate…<\/p>\n

\n

\n Can your birthstone give you powers?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Austin powers?<\/p>\n

\n

\n Finger stuck on finger<\/strong><\/p>\n

I hate it when that happens<\/p>\n

\n

\n How to make out with your fiance after break up?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Tell her she can keep the ring.<\/p>\n

\n

\n Jumping beans from the 1970’s<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Still going…<\/p>\n

\n

\n Ugliest, cheapest engagement rings<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Who are you marrying???<\/p>\n

\n

\n How do you break up with her without her knowing?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m sure someday she’ll realize…<\/p>\n

\n

\n Single ugly ladies<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Oh, now I know who gets the ugliest, cheapest engagement ring…<\/p>\n

\n

\n How to get stinky off the watch?<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n Pull my finger!<\/p>\n

\n

\nAnd now for my second better edition<\/strong> of stupid Google searches.<\/a><\/p>\n

\nEnjoy! :)<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post is crazy. For the past few years I’ve been viewing my web stats (geek in me), phrases and keywords (through Google analytics) that allows me to see exactly what people type into Google [Read More…]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,4],"tags":[735,736],"class_list":["post-6612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fun","category-jewelry","tag-google-searches","tag-jewelry-searches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6612"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6612"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6612\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}