{"id":6617,"date":"2013-01-24T08:57:41","date_gmt":"2013-01-24T13:57:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/?p=6617"},"modified":"2016-09-17T11:34:26","modified_gmt":"2016-09-17T15:34:26","slug":"more-silly-google-search-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/more-silly-google-search-words\/","title":{"rendered":"MORE SILLY GOOGLE SEARCH WORDS"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Silly<\/div>\n

Once again, I’d like to take a moment and acknowledge the wonderful world of Google Search!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nYou do use Google right?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nI’m a big fan of Keywords <\/strong>and Google Search Terms, and I’m always going through Google Analytics<\/strong> to see what brings people to my site.<\/p>\n

\nSome of them I CANNOT show you!<\/strong> HA!<\/p>\n

\nI wrote about “Stupid Human Searches<\/a>” in the past, and NOW, here’s the second edition<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Stupid Google Web Search<\/h2>\n

\nThese are REAL Web Searches<\/strong>. Someone actually went to Google, typed these words in<\/strong>, and ended up on my site here (some how, some way…)<\/p>\n

All I can think is WOW!<\/h2>\n

\nThere are some interesting folks out there to say the least. <\/p>\n

\nWhat are they thinking?<\/strong> You decide…<\/p>\n

\nOr better yet, let me!<\/strong> :)<\/p>\n

\nI’ll give you the Actual Search Term<\/strong>, and then underneath it I’ll put My own Random Comments and Answers<\/strong>. <\/p>\n

\nAnd umm, my comments are just as silly and stupid<\/strong> as the search. :)<\/p>\n

\nI hope these won’t Offend<\/strong>… take them with a grain of salt. It’s all in good fun<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Enjoy! :)<\/h2>\n

\nSearch #1…<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: Getting in Shape for your Mistress<\/h2>\n

\nGetting in shape for your Mistress is easy. You just tell your wife that you’re having an affair and she’ll chase you down the street with a frying pan.<\/p>\n

\nWhat ever you do: Don’t Stop!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nCongrats, you just lost 20 pounds in one afternoon!<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Mexican Leather Stinks<\/h2>\n

\nInteresting… Mexican Leather Stinks eh? <\/p>\n

\nThat’s probably because Mexican Cows eat hot sauce<\/strong> too!<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Why so long for Verizon Repairs?<\/h2>\n

\nI don’t know why. I call and call and call and they just keep hanging up on me once they realize that I use Sprint<\/strong>…<\/p>\n

\n

Search: If you crush a Diamond, what Color is the Dust?<\/h2>\n

\nI would have to guess that if you crushed a Diamond, it would be whatever the Color of the Diamond was. <\/p>\n

\nIf the Diamond is a White Diamond = White Dust.<\/p>\n

\nIf the Diamond is a Green Diamond = Green Dust.<\/p>\n

\nMakes sense to me! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: Who keeps the Dog after breakup?<\/h2>\n

\nLet the Dog decide!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do this: Have each person take a Dog Bowl and fill it with the Dog’s favorite food. Have them stand a foot apart and hold the food out…<\/p>\n

\nNow call the Dog into the room. Who ever the Dog goes to first, gets the Dog! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: Why Ring Finger Grow Fatter?<\/h2>\n

\nHmmmm, I would have to assume either you have hit your finger hard with a hammer, or the rest of you is getting fatter with it<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\n

Search: What does “Ring Hole” mean?<\/h2>\n

\nIt means that the ring is whole all the way around…<\/p>\n

\nNo, really it means it’s the hole that your finger goes through.<\/p>\n

\nP.S. Not all holes are meant for fingers! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: What’s my Ring Size?<\/h2>\n

\nThat’s a very good question Mr. Anonymous. What is your ring size?<\/p>\n

\nIf I put on my Psychic Hat, I can clearly see the numbers 736.
\nHope that helps! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: How to get earlobes cut off?<\/h2>\n

\nWTF?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nThat’s a very serious question. My first thoughts are WHY? My second thoughts are: Drive down the road with your head out the window…<\/p>\n

\nOr just learn to Juggle with Chainsaws!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nGood luck!<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Can a Woman wear White for Multiple Weddings?<\/h2>\n

\nIt depends on how many times the Racoon has peed on the dress in the Attic<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\nVacuum off the dust, and take it to a Dry Cleaner to see if those stains will come out.<\/p>\n

\nMaybe if you’re lucky, you won’t get rabies<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\n

Search: How much should you lose on an Engagement Ring?<\/h2>\n

\nIt depends on how high the stakes are. If the person to your right is betting a Car, and the person to your left is betting a Hawaii Vacation, then I would say it’s probably an okay bet to put up your Fiancee’s Engagement Ring. Why not? There’s more rings where that came from…<\/p>\n

\nP.S. Just wake her first to get the ring off, otherwise she’ll go along with the deal<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Does Black Mood Ring mean you’re dead?<\/h2>\n

\nNot entirely!<\/p>\n

\nSure Mood Rings work by the heat of your body, but let’s face it, it’s cold outside and all of my appendages tend to lose blood and shrink up…<\/p>\n

\nOh wait…<\/p>\n

\nIf your ring turns black, it’s safe to say that either the Mood Ring isn’t working, or you’ve become a Zombie<\/strong> or Vampire<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

\nLook in the mirror. Do a quick scan of your Eyes, Neck and Tongue!<\/p>\n

\nAre those black too?<\/p>\n

\nIt could be just a fashion statement! Run with it! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: Fingers knowing how to type?<\/h2>\n

\nIf you knew how many times I have to backspace and retype a misppeeld’d word, you’d probably understand that the answer to this question is: NO! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: How do you know how many prongs is your earring?<\/h2>\n

\nHi Earring Question! There is a specialized tool used for counting prongs on earrings. It’s called your EYES!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nUse your Eyes to count the prongs. Usually there are 4 prongs or 6 prongs, but I’ve seen earring with 3 prongs as well. :)<\/p>\n

\nHappy counting!<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Reasons to break up with your Fiancee<\/h2>\n

\nWow, a Very Good Question indeed!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nThese things come to mind:<\/p>\n

\n1)<\/strong> She hasn’t said “YES” yet<\/p>\n

\n2)<\/strong> She’s 14<\/p>\n

\n3)<\/strong> Two Words: Hairy Pits<\/p>\n

\n4)<\/strong> She isn’t quite ready to take her internet dating to real life<\/p>\n

\n5)<\/strong> She’s still married to her Husband<\/p>\n

\n6)<\/strong> Her favorite hobby is Knife Throwing<\/p>\n

\n7)<\/strong> Her Facebook Status still says Available<\/p>\n

\n8)<\/strong> She has 6 toes<\/p>\n

\n9)<\/strong> Her Father has the key to her Chastity Belt, and he owns a very big gun<\/p>\n

\n10)<\/strong> She’s the real Bigfoot<\/p>\n

\n11)<\/strong> Her name is Lorena Bobbit<\/p>\n

\n12)<\/strong> She was featured on People of Walmart<\/a><\/p>\n

\n13)<\/strong> She lost her stripper job<\/p>\n

\n14) <\/strong>Her Conjoined Twin doesn’t like you<\/p>\n

\n15)<\/strong> She’s possessed and sleeps on the ceiling<\/p>\n

\n16)<\/strong> Her name is Violet, and she’s your Sister<\/p>\n

\n17)<\/strong> She’s a Blow Up Doll<\/p>\n

\n18)<\/strong> She Sharts the bed<\/p>\n

\n19)<\/strong> Imaginary Friends don’t get married<\/p>\n

\n20) <\/strong>She has an Adam’s Apple<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Crazy Man’s Birthstone<\/h2>\n

\nIf your Man is REALLY<\/strong> Crazy, I would buy him a Men’s Ring without the center stone.<\/p>\n

\nJust tell him it’s one of those new “Invisible Diamond<\/strong>” rings… <\/p>\n

\nHe’ll believe you!<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Ring Cleaning with Saliva<\/h2>\n

\nSaliva can make a really good cleaner, but sometimes it’s very difficult to get your tongue<\/strong> in between those little prongs and spaces.<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Why do Men take so long to buy a ring?<\/h2>\n

\n1) The Car wouldn’t turn into the Jewelry Store<\/p>\n

\n2) Because she didn’t want a Plastic Spider Ring<\/p>\n

\n3) They don’t have time to go to Mount Doom<\/strong> to dig it out of the fiery pit<\/p>\n

\n4) Hey look, a bird…<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Wedding Ring Finger Stinks<\/h2>\n

\nGive it 12 years, the entire Marriage will stink! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: My Diamond Shatter WHY?<\/h2>\n

\nMaybe you should ask the Train<\/strong> that hit you…<\/p>\n

\n

Search: How to get gunk out of Diamond Earrings<\/h2>\n

\nThe answer is: YUCK!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMaybe if you cleaned them more than once a year, they wouldn’t be growing potatoes. <\/p>\n

\nMy favorite thing is when a customer hands me these types of earrings and wants me to clean the junk off them…<\/p>\n

\n1) Thanks for putting them on my palm without warning<\/p>\n

\n2) Now I have to clean your GUNK<\/strong> and my VOMIT<\/strong> off them!<\/p>\n

\nGROSS!!! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Search: Man with biggest ring size<\/h2>\n

\nThe man with the biggest ring size, according to Guinness Books, is Liu Hua<\/strong>…<\/p>\n

\nThis picture says it all…<\/p>\n

\"Liu<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Seeing Black Spots in your eyes<\/h2>\n

\nThere could be far worse things you could see in your eyes than black spots…<\/p>\n

\nLet me show you…<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n1) Snow Ball<\/p>\n

\n2) Mace<\/p>\n

\n3) A Finger Jab (Nuck Nuck Nuck!<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

\n4) A Bee Sting<\/p>\n

\n5) Porcupine Quill<\/p>\n

\n6) Cork Screw<\/p>\n

\n7) Nail Gun<\/p>\n

\n8) A Javelin Pole<\/p>\n

\n9) Eyelash – I just hate that!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n10) An Official Red Ryder Rifle Carbine-Action 200-Shot BB (“You’ll shoot your eye out!<\/strong>“)<\/p>\n

\n

Search: Ugly Mothers<\/h2>\n

\nReally? You are really searching for Ugly Mothers?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nWhat is it you’re trying to find? Pictures? Dates?<\/strong> Reasons why?<\/p>\n

\nYour best bet is to just ask your Father!<\/p>\n

\nHe’s probably still at the top of the Ugly Tree<\/strong>… Your Mother though it seems, has found her way all the way down to the forest floor.<\/p>\n

\nShe’s a winner! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Enough for now…<\/h2>\n

\nThere you go!<\/strong> 2 Dozen MORE<\/strong> Crazy Ass Google Searches!<\/p>\n

\nHopefully I made you laugh<\/strong> and didn’t totally offend you. It wasn’t my intent!<\/p>\n

\nOh, look…<\/strong> Here’s another search coming in as we speak…<\/p>\n

\n

Search:<\/h2>\n

\nAnd BOY DO I LOVE THIS<\/strong>…<\/p>\n

What’s it called when you rip the skin off your fingers?<\/h2>\n

\nOuch….<\/p>\n

\nPAINFUL?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Cheers! ;)<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once again, I’d like to take a moment and acknowledge the wonderful world of Google Search! You do use Google right? I’m a big fan of Keywords and Google Search Terms, and I’m always going [Read More…]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6619,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fun","category-jewelry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6617"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6617"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6617\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelry-secrets.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}