What a loaded question:
Re-gift an engagement ring?
My first reaction is why would you ask?
But the truth is, it happens all the time.
Should you give your new girlfriend (fiancee) your ex-girlfriend’s engagement ring?
It almost sounds taboo…
But it is expensive…
I understand why it happens. Engagement rings are not cheap. And if a guy has a previous engagement ring from a previous engagement, then why waste it? Right? A diamond is a diamond. And he did pick it out…. So….
To a guy, it seems like a no-brainer.
Guys don’t get emotionally attached or bound to a ring like a woman does. If you have a beautiful engagement ring, why not use it?
Why go out and buy another one?
But to a woman, it’s a whole different story.
That engagement ring was not meant for her.
It was some other girl’s ring. It carries old memories with it. Someone else’s love, pain, tears and joy. Not to mention a lot of bad karma and bad luck. It’s not good. No way, no how.
So of course the guys are always thinking “Why tell her?”
A lot of men may decide to keep it a secret. “She’ll never find out.” What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her… RIGHT?
But let me tell you, this rarely happens.
If she needs to take her rings to the jewelry store to get it cleaned and inspected, chances are, they’ll need to see her paperwork.
Especially if the ring needs work done, like sizing or tightening the prongs. She may need the extended service plan on the ring (you do have one of those don’t you?)
She may need to have the diamond warranty or appraisal. You never know. And here’s where it gets tricky…
She’ll see that you bought that engagement ring years before you met her.
Try explaining that.
(Did she even know you were previously engaged?)
And it may not even be the paperwork that gets you, it may be the jewelry salesperson. They may recognize the ring. They may question it (This ring was all the rage 5 years ago…) It could raise a lot of questions, eyebrows, and maybe even a frying pan.
Plus that engagement ring is probably worn down, scratched, and sized already (and in most cases, there’s no original box either.)
Granted you can always take the ring to the jeweler and have them polish it up again and resize it to fit your new girlfriend… But the prongs and the shank may still show signs of wear and tear. They may not look perfectly new anymore.
Your Aunt has loose lips:
And then you also have your friends and family to attend to (they already know the situation).
People in your life know the engagement ring was your ex-girlfriend’s ring. They’ll know you re-gifted it. A lot will frown on this, not approve, and may even bring it up. It’s just not a great situation for anyone to be in. The whole thing is just uncomfortable.
The only good side to all of this is it saves the man money. And that’s it.
Sadly, no matter how much that ring originally cost, re-gifting it will just make one look cheap and tacky.
If it was up to me, I’d say:
Don’t give it to her.
You don’t want to look at that ring for the rest of your life and be constantly reminded of your ex. She’s an ex for a reason.
Let her go (cue the Frozen song…)
And if your new girlfriend ever finds out somehow, she won’t want to wear it. In fact, she may even break off the engagement.
Another one down the drain.
It’s just not worth the risk. Bad karma has a way of coming back full swing.
Learn from your mistakes.
Do this instead:
Take the ring back to the jeweler you bought it from. Explain the situation. See if they’d be interested in doing an even exchange or a mild-upgrade (usually full upgrades are double the price).
Hopefully they’ll be happy to work with you and find a reasonable solution. Maybe you’ll get lucky and get something a little bit nicer, a little bit bigger, and a little bit better?
By doing that, you’ll get rid of the ex for good, start the new engagement off on the right foot and in the right frame of mind.
I’m sure you can use some of that.
Good luck with both of your upgrades:
Your new ring and your new girlfriend.
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About the Author
Author Richard Scott. Certified Diamontologist and Gemologist. 30 years of experience.
Let Richard help you choose the best diamond, the most dazzling engagement ring, and save as much money as possible. Read more about the author here. Follow Richard on social media; Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest. Contact Richard Scott here.