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How to Secretly Get Your Mans Ring Size

Secretly getting a man’s ring size???

Oh boy! If you need to get his ring size for a wedding ring or diamond band, without him knowing… GOOD LUCK!!!

Trust me ladies, doing this secretly is much more difficult than secretly getting a lady’s ring size (read: How to secretly get her ring size).

But with men…

There is no easy answer.

Men don’t go to jewelry stores with their buddies to try on wedding bands.

They don’t dream about the perfect ring they’ll be getting. They don’t even know what their own finger size is and certainly don’t “plant seeds” of knowledge into their trusted friends:

If she asks, tell her my ring size is 11.5.

No! Not going to happen.

With men, it’s a whole different ball game.

There are no clues.

There is no easy way to tell. And it’s not like she can have her man try on her ring so she can secretly gauge it. Men’s fingers are usually twice as big as lady’s are and her ring will usually only fit half way up his little pinky.

That’ll do you no good.

All of the normal routes to secretly get his finger sized have gone out the window.

I’ve had women try the “string around his finger while he sleeps” trick.

That doesn’t work.

String is a very poor indicator and it won’t help you in the least when it comes to a thick, comfort-fit ring size.

Plus, he’s bound to wake up and wonder what the hell you’re doing.

Some ladies will bring in his class ring, college ring or football ring to help get an accurate size.

But that’s even a poorer indicator, because rings like that are very wide, heavy on top, and fit nothing like a wedding band will. Wide rings can even be 1 or 1.5 sizes bigger than a normal ring. Plus, a right hand ring fits about 1/2 size different then the one on the left hand. So that’s not accurate either.

It just won’t cut it.

Take my advice…

My advice about the whole “secret ring size” dilemma is…

Don’t worry about it.


Because it really isn’t a secret…

It’s not like he doesn’t know you’re getting him a ring. You’re already engaged… You’re getting married. You have your ring…

So there is no real secret.


The bottom line is:

Men don’t mind if the ring you give him fits on the “surprise” day.

He doesn’t wear it like an engagement ring. He’ll only put it on for the wedding. So he’s not going to be sad and blue if he can’t put it on now (2 months prior), and has no ambitions about showing it off to his friends.

It’s not what men do.

So either buy the ring in the default ring size, which is a size 10, and order it in the correct size later…

Or, take him to the jewelry store with you to pick out his ring and get it sized then.

It’s that simple.

Men are fine with that.

They don’t care if it’s a secret or not.

Ladies want the secret.

Men won’t care if it wasn’t romantic enough or dreamy.

With men, it’s more of a practical thing.

“It’s a ring.”

They have to wear one. It’s a part of getting married.

No surprise. No secret.

(Now, if you’re not engaged yet, and you plan on doing the proposing, then a surprise would be awesome… But still, get the default ring size and then have him order one to fit afterwards.)

Is he going to care if it doesn’t fit right away?

Probably not.

Are you surprised?

(This advice comes from selling men’s wedding bands for almost 30 years… It’s what I see and hear).
Cheers! :)

Recommended Jewelry Supplies:

Ultrasonic Jewelry Cleaner Jewelry Steam Cleaner Complete Jewelry Cleaner Kit Diamond Dazzle Stick
Gold Silver Jewelry Polishing Cloths Jewelry Making Supplies Kit Gold Acid Test Kit Watch Tool Repair Kit
Ring Adjusters EMT Emergency Ring Cutter 10x Jewelers Loupe Jewelers Microscope

Recommended Jewelry Supplies:

Ultrasonic Jewelry Cleaner Jewelry Steam Cleaner
Complete Jewelry Cleaner Kit Diamond Dazzle Stick
Gold Silver Jewelry Polishing Cloths Jewelry Making Supplies Kit
Gold Acid Test Kit Watch Tool Repair Kit
Ring Adjusters EMT Emergency Ring Cutter
10x Jewelers Loupe Jewelers Microscope


  1. This is the best post ever!!!!!

  2. This is really unhelpful. I’m going to be the one proposing, so the fact that he’s getting a ring *is* a secret. He *does* like romance and surprises, and I want to be able to give those things to him. But all I can find are frankly sexist articles about how men don’t want those things. It’s pretty frustrating.

    • Thanks for your comment Amber. I appreciate it. While I do realize that it comes across as sexist, it’s only based upon my experience of 30 years. When you do propose, congrats on that, for it’s a very rare thing for the woman to propose to the man. Please feel free to stop back and let us know how you did it and how it went. I’m sure others would like that too. :) -Richard

    • Agreed. I’m in the same boat. I am the one proposing and I want it to be a surprise, so yeah, it’s not like he “already knows it’s coming” or I wouldn’t be rifling through stupid forums like this trying to find some ideas.

  3. Tracy Barnett // June 7, 2017 at 12:13 pm // Reply

    You havent learned shit in 30 years have you?!..Everyones diffrent and unique in there own way and Ive known several men who love rings,Ive met wemon who don’t!Ive met intelligent men and dumbasses..guess which one you fall under?!!!

  4. Tracy Barnett // June 7, 2017 at 12:19 pm // Reply

    Bottomline thats a stereotype..Your post is BS!

  5. Thanks for all your help! I was going to propose to my boyfriend with a special, custom made ring at a unique and thoughtful place on our vacation to his favorite city BUT after reading your article – I’m just gonna sit around with my thumb up my ass and wait for him to surprise ME! Thanks for letting me in on this little secret that dudes think surprises and fun are stupid ;)

  6. Being a gay man proposing this did not help very much, but you don’t have to be mean Tracy.

    • Hi Matthew. I would always suggest, straight or gay, to not get the ring sized period. At least, not until they get it and like it. Because sizing a ring voids any return policy. So not having it sized gives them the opportunity to choose a different style if they seem fit. Plus, every single finger fits a ring differently, so even if you know the exact size (which is rare), it may still fit too bulky, too wide, or not feel comfortable at all. Buy a standard stock size (size 10), and go from there. It’s the best advice I can give. :) -Richard

  7. derricia taylor // May 14, 2018 at 12:48 pm // Reply

    this was not helpful at all u really im the one whose proposing to him so why would i just go up to himm and be like babe what your ring size im not understanding if that worked for your man ok good congrats nice but every one is diffrent hunny

  8. Christine Gugliotta // November 15, 2018 at 10:01 am // Reply

    I agree with your advice about getting standard stock size ten. It makes total sense. I’m replacing my husbands wedding band that was lost outside at his job and he was very upset. He is going to be happy that I’m replacing it! Unfortunately I can’t remember the size of his old ring! He will still be surprised and happy even though we will have it sized afterward, so again thank you for the great advice.

  9. Virginia Solude // March 6, 2019 at 1:43 pm // Reply

    He does care and I do too. Ugh. 30 years of anecdotal evidence is smudging up my optimism. There has to be a way to figure this out.

  10. Sheri Watson // April 13, 2019 at 3:32 am // Reply

    OMG why do people have to be so rude. If you don’t like his advice then don’t take it. He is giving advice based on his own personal experience. Yes it is easier to get a woman’s ring size than a mans there are many many men who don’t know the correct ring size and they do the exact same thing order the generic size and have it resized if needed this is not a new thing. As for women proposing to men and men proposing to another man this is just now because a more popular thing. Woman proposals are just now becoming more of a thing as future generations are more about being outside the book and look at other opinions besides the typical tradition. With the legalization of same sex marriage I see proposing to men will be getting a bit more attention and it will continue to grow and start to become the normal as well. He may not have had much experience with the man being proposed to so he is just telling what he has experienced and really if you cannot say anything nice you shouldn’t say anything at all. I can’t get how people can be so negative and insulting.

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