This is the only time you’ll be hearing both of them say “I DO!“
It’s the Ultimate Question.
Couples always ask for Advice on the Big Break up. What’s the Correct Procedure in Dealing with the Engagement Ring after a Split?
Couples Fight over who gets to Keep the Ring.
It’s a struggle between Men and Women and Possession and Feelings and Right and Wrong. I like to call it the Battle of Beauty and the Beast!
Let me walk you through both sides of the story…
The Man Buys the Ring
There’s no dispute there. And in most cases, the man is STILL Paying for the Ring. Usually on an Interest Bearing Account that will take years to pay off. He went in Debt under the Condition that you two would Wed. Those Conditions are what the Engagement Ring was given under!
Now bear with me, I will touch all the subjects regarding these so-called-conditions!
So the Man feels that upon Break-Up, the Ring should be rightfully HIS and returned to HIM. This way he could clear his Debt and the split between their Commitment is totally Broken and Void.
He bought the Ring in Good Faith. She accepted the Ring in Good Faith. That Ring is only a Symbol of the Unity to come. The Unity is the Wedding… You know, that thing where half of your stuff is now their stuff!
Now She on the other Hand…
She feels like the ring was given as a “Present” to her. She was given this Ring and now owns this Ring. It’s HERS! She feels she can do anything with the Ring that she wants. Too bad for him, he’s outta Luck!
It Gets Uglier!
Complications arise. People want to Blame the other Person for the Break up. They actually base their Decisions upon that Blame. She says “If he breaks up with me, I keep the ring! But if I break up with him, I give the ring back!“
He says the same thing.
But the battle of the Precious gets deeper…
She feels that if the Man Cheats on her then She gets to KEEP the Ring! Like the Cheat will Justify the ‘Screw Him Back‘ Attitude. This will cause him Pain just as well.
We could go on and on about Jilted People and how Revenge is Sweet. But is this…
What they Deserve?
Is this thinking right?
Will it take the heartbreak away?
I say NO!
The Man should ALWAYS get the ring back. No matter what!
Let me explain.
To me it’s a Simple Reason why. He bought it, she DIDN’T!
It’s Not a Gift
The Ring is a Symbol of Marriage that never was. Hurt Women always want to Point the Finger and say ‘he broke up with me!‘, but obviously there are deeper issues between the would-be-bride and groom to cause this.
It’s not one-sided!
Even in the event of Cheating, there’s usually a reason why he felt like he had to Stray. I believe the Fault is Shared with both of them. The Divide was caused by Relationship Problems that one person can’t Manifest of their own. Responsibility for the Failed Engagement is Equal.
I say thank the Lucky Stars that it happened now and not 5 years down the road when they have a Home, 2 Cars, 4 Kids and Pets!
No matter how much they want to get back at the other person. No matter how much they want to ‘screw‘ each other back. Don’t do it. Karma has a Clever way of coming around again and Biting you in the Butt.
Plus I say, “Why would you want to keep it anyway?” Keep it as a Reminder of a Failed Engagement? Yes I failed at this and want to remember it forever. NOT! I would think it would hold Sad Memories and Pain.
It’s not worth it. Cleanse yourself. Cleanse your Soul. Give him back his little ‘Token‘.
Because with this Ring, you certainly “DON’T!“